Yes, Sir. The holidays are almost here! I truly can’t believe it! I guess it comes with aging or maybe it is just me, but every year the holidays come around faster and faster. And despite it being “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” I find my anxiety skyrocketing. And it doesn’t help it with the people who start decorating before Halloween. I’m sorry. I generally try not to pick a fight, but can’t we please enjoy each holiday/celebration as they come and not rush things? I understand there are special circumstances like when your loved one is being deployed overseas and this is the only time to celebrate, but I think for the most part it’s just folks jumping the gun AND then rushing to take it down right after Christmas Day! To me, that’s when we need the lights and decoration the most – during the cold, long, dark days of winter. So, if you ask me, hold up on Christmas decor until after celebrating Thanksgiving. That’s what we will be doing, and maybe equally annoying to you, we will probably be the ones who hang on to Christmas a little too long on the backside. 😉

Overall, it’s been a good year. I’m still fully immersed in medical stuff, but I’ve been engaging in life a lot more. At the beginning of the year I spent New Year’s in the hospital for 1 or 2 nights with the flu. Thankfully it was fairly mild and didn’t cause any further damage to my lungs. I had my first colonoscopy in the spring. I promise not to go into much detail but after a few attempts of getting good scoping and removal of all visible polyps – I ended up with 25 polyps! Thankfully all were benign. My high number of polyps led to genetic testing which searched a large panel of possible mutations. All including breast cancer, came back negative. That was a relief. I will be getting another colonoscopy in a few months to look for new polyps. Throughout the year I’ve been getting IV immunoglobulin to boost my immune system. It is usually 2 IV bottles infused once per month. It’s not always every month but probably 8/9 months out of the year. I’ve also been getting iron infused weekly. For unknown reason, I’m anemic and we can’t find a source of bleeding but the 8 weeks of weekly infusions helps me immensely. My newest diagnosis, which I’m grappling with is lymphedema. For several years, I’ve occasionally noticed my feet swelling up but it wouldn’t last long, but starting early this August, I’ve noticed regular swelling of my left foot and sometimes a small amount in my right foot. I was referred to a cardiologist who assured me it wasn’t my heart or kidneys malfunctioning and he checked to make sure it was not a clot in my leg. He diagnosed me with lymphedema and told me to wear support stockings to help the upward flow of lymph fluid, and to elevate my feet as much as possible. I did 3 additional ultrasound and pressure tests this week. Other than that, I will not see that doctor for 6 months. It’s just one more thing . . .

On top of the physical maladies, I have to deal with my ongoing anxiety and depression. Both are well-treated with psychiatry and counseling. I find my mood is much easier to deal with than the anxiety – it is the harder more pervasive battle for me. I have found that after years of dealing with anxiety, it does seem to pass if I can wait it out, and my panic attacks have been far and few between.

Thank you, Jesus. Jesus is the only way I’ve been able to deal with so many trials. I seek Jesus the traditional ways of prayer, Bible and church. But I most tangibly sense him through people. I think that’s why the Bible tells us not to give up on gathering together. (Hebrews 10:25) We need each other – especially in these days. I’m very blessed to be in a great marriage and to have friends that I can call on. My poor mom gets the brunt of my anxiety and exasperation. Occasionally I apologize to her for not calling more often with happy news, it’s usually that I need someone to vent to and hear my struggles.  She’s always so steadfast and strong which she attests to her faith in Jesus. Especially after losing my dad, I’ll ask her how she does it. She’s so rock solid and she will tell me it is her faith. That’s the faith I want and I want for my family.

So, let’s lighten up a little here. I think this is a good spot for that. 😉 Well, so everyday life is challenging. Taking a shower or bath is a big deal, making dinner or doing dishes/laundry are all big activities that require breaks and rests, so the idea of travel seems nearly impossible. But since I was diagnosed with cancer in 2013, we’ve always made going down to the Florida panhandle a priority. It used to take 6 1/2 hours but since the southeast keeps growing, the traffic makes the journey much longer 🙁  than it once was .  Anyway, we went to FL twice this year. Once in February and then in October. In February it was a large group with Mom, our family and my sister’s family. One night we decided to have a little fun. I think it was one of the kid’s idea. We drew names and then we had to find a cheap t-shirt that we thought would be totally uncharacteristic for that person to wear and the more embarrassing, the better. Then one by one, we revealed our shirts. But to make it the most fun, we had to wear it out to dinner! It was great and definitely something to remember for a long time! Then for Fall Break in October our family minus Amber (who had college exams) went back to Florida. We stayed at our favorite condo in Santa Rosa Beach and had fresh shrimp and crab claws from the local seafood shop and we also went out for seafood dinners at two favorite restaurants. I have attached a few photos below.

Before I finish, I have to mention that I’ve been a little more human lately. I haven’t held a job outside the home since I had our first baby in 2002. When my kids were little, I didn’t have time for a lot of outings or extra money for activities. Then cancer hit and the ongoing battle since then. From time to time I’ve done a Bible study or joined a small group, but it’s been a while since feeling like I was physically strong enough to do much of anything. Now, maybe I’ve bitten off a little more than I should’ve but I’m going to try to balance it all and then cut something if needed. I’m doing an 8-month study of the book of Hebrews with 10 ladies at our church – it is very challenging and I’m really learning a lot. My favorite part is not only learning things about God that I never knew, but getting to know the women and pulling strength from them. I’ve finally joined a small cancer support group. It has women currently going through treatment and those like me who are still walking through the aftermath. Finally, Jonathan and I are co-hosting a monthly prayer group with our neighbors. We have lived here 15 years, and it is about time we get to know our neighbors in a deep and personal way. We’ve just started, so there is a lot to come with that! Thank you for listening. I don’t know if there is much to take away from this. But I hope you can see that despite my obstacles on so many levels, God has been good to me. I will carry on and try to live my best life trying to put Jesus first.

Hebrews 10:25  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.