Well, Dad and I were headed to Walgreen’s in Lebanon, TN for me to get an urgent Covid Test. It was deemed necessary that I get a feeding tube placed because of my severe malnourishment secondary to the Norovirus which had ravaged my body since November 2019.

Most people clear the virus in 1-3 days, but I was holding onto it for months and months causing all sorts of g.i. distress. Here’s a text of what ensued at the drugstore.

Thank goodness, after all of that, my Corona Virus test came back negative and I was able to go in for my Dobhoff nasogastric tube placement. It was not a smooth process, unfortunately. It took the resident 5 times to get it inserted. She had to try both nostrils and met resistance as she had me swallow the tube down, but finally it took.

I returned home that evening. Then, prior to starting the feedings, the tube fell out! How, I do not know. I had gagged a lot and vomited, so maybe that gave it the push it needed to make its way out. It wasn’t “bridled” as recommended, so there was nothing to prevent it from sliding upward.

I was really getting down at this point. Just so weak from not getting the nourishment I needed for months, and now more things going wrong. Now what? It was to the point where I needed to be admitted to the hospital to find out why I continued to have so much G.I. distress, weight loss and deficiencies of so many nutrients found in my blood tests. I ended up spending 5 days in Vanderbilt Medical Center.

I had hit a new low. Not just weight wise, but emotionally and mentally. 7 1/2 years of battling either cancer, Graft vs. Host Disease and now a life without any energy where all I wanted to do was sleep. I had given up. I’m not saying this lightly. I even told the doctor that I didn’t want to do tube feedings and I confided in Jonathan and my Mom that I was tired and I’d had enough. The feelings I was experiencing I am unable to adequately express, but I was worn out and done.

Thankfully, my doctor carried on and I agreed to try another feeding tube as long as it was done while I was sedated. They needed to put me under to take some biopsies to look for the underlying cause of my weight loss and G.I. distress. First we must do a CAT scan.

The CT came back with a new abnormal finding – a soft tissue mass was near my pacncreas/liver.  They decided to do an endoscopic ultra sound with biopsies. Putting my under took an experienced team because of my lung health. When sedating someone, there is always a risk of being put on a ventilator, and with my lung disease, I’m prone to going on a vent and not getting back off. But, they weighed the risks and knew that getting a diagnosis was more beneficial than the risk of going on a ventilator. We also now needed to see what this mass was – could it be an infections, lymphoma, or who knows what???

I asked God to help my be still and let Him fight for me. I was tired and had nothing left to give. God promises to fight for us. We just must remain still. God gave me peace and I did not worry about the mass or being put under with its many risks.

In the O.R. I remember the doctor talking about possibly getting a dog soon, and then poof!, I was out like a light. When I woke up they told me that they were unalbe to find the mass! Whoa! This was the best of the best technique and equipment for investigating it, and they were unable to find the tumor found on the CT scan! Okay, I know things like this happen to people, but I admit I usually am on the side of bad news. All I could think was that this was a God thing. God took that growth and destroyed it. I was so excited to tell my mom as I returned to my room with the written report in hand!