We’ve had some fun days since the 7 of us have reunited; Jonathan & I, the kids and my parents. Intermingled with my hospital appointments, have been many meals together (going out, eating in, grilling outside . . .), visits to fun attractions like a widescreen dinosaur movie at the natural history museum, walking around Rice University, playing games and even giving my parents a brief, but well-earned break.

Today I enter the hospital for my donor stem cell transplant. We will begin the conditioning period once I’m admitted and then I will actually receive the donor cells on March 17th. We had a good visit with my stem cell doctor yesterday, and we were given hope that this may be a cure for all of the undetectable lymphoma that is most likely in my body. While we haven’t asked percentages this time around, we know that we are at one of the best facilities in the world AND we have the Great Physician who can heal no matter what.

This time around has been so different from our experience last summer. I think last summer we (at least speaking for myself) were closed off from really connecting with other patients and didn’t really have the clearness-of-mind to really connect with the staff. We have met so many patients this time – many of them are in similar situations in regards to diagnosis, treatment, stage, uncertainty, concern for children – sometimes all of these

variables we have in common or just one thing, cancer, is our common ground. Very rarely did anyone “expect” it, even with a strong family history. Most have been shaken to their core, and so often there is beauty. Yes, beauty.  We have witnessed great faith and encouragement. Almost each person with the illness or the medical professional who works with it every day has had an awareness that many “civilians” haven’t experienced. There is a compassion that exudes and a clear “wake up” to our awesome God and the scripture that we blessedly have in our hands to help us walk through a trial like this. I have had medical professionals speak to me with such authority and reassurance that God is Good, He was not surprised by my diagnosis, He’s with me & and already ahead of me as I prepare for each upcoming step, because of his Grace I’m right with him (I could never be “good” enough on my own) and no matter what the future holds we win because of Jesus. I believe God has placed these people on my path to combat the negative thoughts that can suddenly take your breath away. I have no doubt that God uses you and me in whatever area of life we find ourselves in: sitting in a hospital waiting room, sharing a house with other patients, working within a hospital, waiting tables, working at the local school, working maintenance on the grounds of the apartment complex, driving the shuttle, healing the sick with the best technology and science . . . He loves us through His people.

Despite this being the hardest time so far in our lives, we have found more beauty and joy than we’ve ever known. We talked about that a little last night as we celebrated (a little early) for Jonathan’s 40th. Jonathan will be 40 on Sunday! I’ve known him for half his life! Little did he know what he was signing up for, but I’m glad he did.

One last thought. Our littlest is very anxious about being separated from me. I’ve tried to reassure him that He will be fine here at the apartment with my parents and his sisters, AND this time he will get to visit me in the family room of the SCT floor. This morning he told me, “God is going to be here with me. He loves me more than anyone here.”

I think I’ll repeat that to myself as well.